Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Important choices we all have to make- Mommy Rant!

I like to think I am an open minded parent, who knows that her children do have flaws and that not everything can be sunshiny perfect all the time.

Honestly, things are not never sunshiny perfect and my kids can be...well.. brats. Most of the time.

And I like to think that I, best mom in the world, am raising wonderful little human beings that will one day grow up to change the world. Yes, everything is rosey, sunshiny, perfect.

Then some "teacher" (I say that loosley), has the audasicty (didn't know I knew that word did ya!) to tell my my almost six year old child is not as mature as her classmates.

My first thought is " Oh' no she dit in'!" Thus, Ghetto mommy returns.

What is exactly should I do to make her like most of the rest of her peers? So I thought about it and the only maturaity lessons I could come up with, that the other kids have had, that my child has not is:

1. I have yet to be placed in handcuffs in front of my children for doing physical harm to others or on drug charges.
2. I haven't let my children watch movies with anything more than a PG rating. (Not because I am sheilding them, just because I don't want my kid asking me what c*nt means.
3. My child can not tell the difference between Crack and Meth. We don't have those things on the coffee table for them not to touch, and mommy doesn't cook it in the kitchen.
4.Mommy doesn't bring home a new "friend" every night. My kids have "yet" to catch me in the act. I am sure the day will come, but for now I am not going to put on a show on the dining room table for sake of maturity.
5.My child as never been to court, cause mommy needed more money from daddy, or because one of their parents was being sentenced.
6.My children have both their parents, everyday, making sure their homework is being done and that they are clean and fed.

So, with those options I can either get arrested for prostution, or drugs. Stab their daddy. Let them watch a porn movie (and it will be one from the 70's were the women are super hairy and the men are ape like. Like Ron Jeremy.)or I can step out on daddy, smoke pot with them, and have them "keep my secrets."

Oh the Choices! How, do we as parents, survive? The things we must do for our children...

I think my kids can just stay immature.


Carol Van Rooy said...

Kids grow up fast enough... don't rush it and for the sake of the teacher... DOES SHE EVEN HAVE KIDS OF HER OWN.

Enough is said that they have two loving parents residing under the same roof.

I can't even begin to tell you, how many parents of the children I went to grade school with have since divorced.

My parents have been married since 1972 and my husband and I since 1998.

Anymore it seems your more "normal" or mature as they tend to term it if you adhere to the list you've constructed.

Believe me your doing a great job, and should you need bail I'm sure the blog-oshere will come to your rescue (HEHEHE).

Un-Domestic Mama said...

ROTFL about the bail. Actually she does have kids. What makes me angry about the situation the most is that there are kids in this class that have called the teacher some VERY explicit names and one who has a "tic" and will loudly tell you that what is wrong with him is that his mom did drugs when she was pregnant with him!

Wonder what she writes on their report cards... Homeschooling is looking better and bettr...

Wifey said...

Great post - love your sense of humor! Glad to hear your children are immature - smiles!