Friday, March 21, 2008

What Memories are You Leaving Behind?

Like every other parent on earth, I have a lot on my plate. It doesn't matter if your a Stay-At-Homer, a working parent, a parent going back to school, married or single one.

We have a lot on our plate with trying to raise kids in any environment, and we put most of this junk on our already full plate.

It's our world, we just stick the kids in it.

Last summer I made the decision to go back to school and finish my degree. I actually decided to change majors after working as a Laboratory Assistant at a local hospital the year before. The hospital ran in to money problems, and 200 of us expendable (not degree holding) workers got the boot.

I spent the months between January and August having a blast redecorating my house and living off unemployment benefits and Hub.

Then they money ran out. So back to work I went. I ended up at the local store for the summer. Hated every minute of it and decided that I was going back to school.

I did late enrollment at the community college ( the only one within 80 miles from my house, that I drive to 3 times a week) and kept working at the store. My youngest daughter (Thing2) went to Kindergarten and I thought I had it all together.

Then things started falling apart.

I missed field trips and snack days. I spent most days not at school or work, looking for babysitters ( THANK GOD I had my mom) and studying.

My house fell a part, my kids fell a part, and I don't recall seeing Hub. He was smart enough to run from the chaos that had become our life.

I can't remember if my kids wore underwear to school everyday, but I do remember saying " Mommy has to study. Do you want her to flunk out, not be able to get a good job, and have to support her when she's old and daddy has killed himself from working 90 hours a week trying to put you both through college alone!!"

I remember saying that a lot.

I promise I am going somewhere with this, stay with me.

The semester ended, I made the dean's list and I thought I finally get a break!

Then, two weeks before Christmas, I found a lump. A hard pea size lump, that felt like a rock was sitting a the base of my left breast.

I stayed calm, reassuring Hub, my parents, his parents, and the hoards of Sisters-in-law, that it was probably a pimple or something and I didn't have cancer and I wasn't going to die.

They weren't getting off that easy. I plan to be here for the rest of their lives to make them all as miserable as possible.

But in the back of mind, and when no one else was around, I was freaking the fark out!

What if? Hub can't raise two girls alone (he probably could, but damn that's mean of me to make him).

Suddenly, while waiting for ultrasound results, and doctors to get back from Christmas vacation to read them, my priorities changed.

All the plans I had to clean and organize, to get a head start on the next semester's work, all the plans I had, went out out the window.

I just wanted to play with my kids and spend time with Hub and the rest of my family.

A good job, good grades, and a clean house wasn't very important any more.

All the good parenting books say that kids don't remember if the house was clean., they remember their parents spending time with them.

Not true. I remember growing up in a house that wasn't clean or organized. I mean, it wasn't a pigsty, we never got any weird skin rashes or lice or anything. But clean, it wasn't.

I also, remember my mom playing board games and cards with me for hours. I remember her helping me build tents out of blankets and letting me eat ice cream for breakfast when I was sick. I remember her letting me run through the water hose and making play-doh animals with me.

My results came back as the lump being a clogged milk duct. My world righted itself and life went crazily back to normal. I am sitting in the middle of my semester at school at a point that can either make or break my grades for this semester. My house is a mess, and I am waiting for the skin rashes to break out. I am totally behind on everything.

And I spent all day yesterday, coloring Easter eggs with my kids.

What memories are you leaving behind?

7 comments: said...

Beautiful post.

So glad to hear you're o.k. What a scare.

Your mother sounds like an amazing mom. What she did with you takes a hellavu-lot more patience, stamina and love than cleaning the house.

It's commendable what you did by doing all that, BUT - WONDERFUL that you recognize the "big picture" and what's important.

I try to keep reminding myself of the bigger picture; how when she wants me to read the same book for the 100th time - someday, I will be yearning for those moments.

nice post and thanks for the reminder:-)

oh, and clogged milk ducts suuuuuck

Un-Domestic Mamma said...

It is amazing how something like a clogged milk duct can change your whole perspective on life.

My mom is a helluva woman! Crazy as a bat, but a great woman!

Carol Van Rooy said...

Wow, I couldn't stop reading...scared at the same time that you were leading us into bad news.

Glad to hear everything worked out fine.

Just to let you know, since going all trendy... the site comes up extremely slow. So slow in fact, had I not of known the great content on the site, I may have walked away.

All I intially see is your header and the left hand column.

Also, should you leave the site to check out one of your links and come back you end up in same time-warp.

I had only known it came up when out of nowhere your music started playing in the background as I was off doing something else.

Perhaps others aren't experiencing this, however I've had no other problems on any other sites.

By the way, I LOVE THE MUSIC.

Thanks for nominating me,

Un-Domestic Mamma said...

OH NO! I had no idea my site was loading slow. I will have to figure why and fix it.

I am not having that problem, but I don't want anyone else to have it either.


Carol Van Rooy said...

I tried it again, and it's still in a time-warp

Wifey said...

Wow. Glad to hear that it's just a clogged milk duct. They suck - I remember that pain - but I'm glad it wasn't anything worse.

I had a lump in college that turned out fine. My mother was freaked out, but I was too young and dumb then to be scared.

My house is a mess, too, and I try to remind myself that my kids and Husband don't care - they're the ones who mess it up!

I have lots of wonderful childhood memories with my mom and lots of adult ones, too. It's crazy to watch her let my kids do things that she would NEVER let me do. Heart-warming, but crazy!

A Lost Writer said...

Okay! That was scary for a while! But you know what, you're spot on with the whole memories thing. My home isn't clean...mostly because I'm following my little one around to spend some time with him because I work full time. I hope he has nice memories! Excellent blog, by the way. Or did I already say that in an earlier comment? My memory is shot...really. :P