Saturday, March 29, 2008

I flash my Goodies, what do you do to pass the time?

I hate funerals. I am sure that most people do, but I hate them not only for the obvious reasons. I have other reasons to hate funerals.

The Hubs aunt died. The funeral is today. and as all funerals go I have a chance to embarrass myself.

I only wear pants to funerals because the last time I wore a skirt, I went to sit down and ended up flashing my whoo haa at all of my Hubs uncles. Luckily it was a Britney before she went off the deep end. I had undies on and had not yet perfected my British accent.
I only had one offer to sell the panties on Ebay. Luckily it came from my favorite of Hubs uncles and he was laughing hysterically when he ask, so I allowed him to keep his gonads.

I am also the one that giggles uncontrollable at inappropriate time. This doesn't usually go over well with others.

I have space issues. I married in to a family that hugs. A lot. For EVERYTHING. There is only a few people I am comfortable hugging. But today hugs are going to be coming at me from every direction. Its like being attacked by a group of Carebears or barneys.

I also have issues with funeral music. Specifically the one song that seems to be played at every funeral in the South. " Go rest high on the Mountain." It gives me the willys first of all. If I hear it in the car I change the channel pronto, because it reminds me of every funeral I have attended since age 9 and makes me feel as if the Grim Reaper is hanging out in the seat waiting for my brakes to fail. I have told Hubs if he allows someone to play this at my funeral I will haunt him and make his life hell.

It looks like rain today. Perfect day to have a funeral. Now I just have to go find super strength waterproof mascara, super strength control tops and something to wear that wont malfunction. If I do end up giggling at the wrong moment, I am going to shout"Bloody Hell"in the best British accent I can muster.